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I was
that quiet lil girl in the coner
playing with my new barbie doll.
Content and happy
Lifes fulfillment
never decreased
from that present moment.
I was hidden
from future truths of reality
I was that confussed pre-teen
who noticed your change
from a providing povider
who did the deeds of strong
However
weakness soon became the cloud
that darkened our
day after day after day.
I was
encamped with hurt
as your addiction became the ruler
of our home
It took away your
"Black Queens" strength
and you relinquished yor crown for
"the rock"
I was....devestated
I was
the mother subsitute
for my younger siblings
I had to place your oversized crown
upon my head
no matter how hard the balance.
I was
your understudy, but in this play
you were suppose to be the star
yet you were too sick to appear
show after show of true motherhood.
I had to step into shoes
that were too big for my feet
Trapped in this closet space
I fight for hopes will to escape
Yet the walls close in
tighter and tighter
forcing me to be the you, you were not
I was
your brighter reflection
Folks always say I look just like you
But I didn't recognize this darkness
that now followed you.
Yet I wanted to stay close to you
in efforts to remind you of the light
you once knew.
I cried for you daily
"yea in some ways I still do".
Somebody please open the shades
Let His light shine in
I need to feel His hope and love within
This hurtful house
all doors locked by guilts keys
Escaping thoughts....."runaway"
Then I think......."girl please"
Where in the world would I go anyway?
So I sit and I wait
staring at Gods light that shines through
that small crack in the window.
My lifes sacrifice
growth to rapid dives to adulthood
Your weakness exposed to something
as small as a vegetable pea
Yet strong like the earths ability
to turn daily
Day to Night, Night to Day
I was
full of questions "Why"
tear drenched face "I Cry"
Come back Queen this crown is yours
I wish not to possess it anymore
I was
Grown at 15..........
She Never Returned
