Conquered

CATEGORY

life

When I look at the reflection in the mirror
I see someone worthwhile
Beautiful in many ways
But slightly incomplete
Missing a few fragments here and there
Like lost puzzle pieces
That I have to find like a Easter egg hunt
I don’t need perfection
Learning to understand and accept with what I was given
But some things don’t belong
They never did
They rose with attached baggage
Creating ripples in my present state
Torn conviction
And idle reactions
Springing forth unwanted occurrences
Sheltered by my outer focuses
Instead of centering myself
Grounding my feet in the dirt
And gradually chipping away
The cold harden flakes of my stubbornness
Gingerly taking breaths of freshness in a long time
Noticing who I am and what I want to become
My love for myself is unconditional
A tough road in the beginning
Like a fragile but verbally abusive relationship
Two distinct forces fighting for dominance
The venomous words lacerated my will
And destroyed my resolve
No amount of resolutions could
Tend to the open wounds on my soul
The torturer no longer a physical presents
Long gone and with courage forgiven
For the sake of self but the side effect lingers
The culprit is the same as the victim now
But the words that spilled from my mouth so carelessly
Only reminded me of the fearful person
That withered under scrutiny
And frozen in defeated pace
I gladly release that thought back into its dungeon
My reasoning still stands firm
But my actions speak of lesser volumes
And unaffectedly halting actions
Can only birth unsatisfactory outcomes
The short comings so vivid that the alternative
Seems too confusing
But as time progress and I mature
Circumstances only emerge more demanding of change
Nagging me of its apparent summoning
To my current situation
Even predictable expectance of blessings
Of wanted fruitfulness and hardships that require attention
And care with kin observation and determination
But I lacked the very skills that define my purpose
The fiery blaze of motivational inspiration
That keeps me with the flow of time
The panic that conflicts me tampers and corrupts my thoughts
But that was long ago
And I seek only progression of self
The building of me effects my surrounding
Even my future plans are in jeopardy of failure
The plan is to just move forward not thinking of
Anything else but a goal
And don’t doubt my abilities only the foolish will
And the time shall come faster than I realize
And things shall transition into phase two
And my mission will continue from there
I am not a fool to my own sabotage
I trapped myself in my web of lies
Worst than a toxic friend
I was my worst of enemies
Comparing my time and success to those who
Did their best from the beginning
That will also be my story
One of triumphant struggles and unwanted failures
Flipping the downside of unfairness
Turning them into wonderful achievements
To the straight road to success
I accept my failures
They are time reminders of pass mistakes that can be rectified
And have no purpose on being revised
Nothing can be changed
The footage was developed long ago
Etched in the stone walls of history
So I press onward
Nothing I can do about past things
I wish to dwell in the present
Mending my bumps and bruises swiftly
So I may rise to my feet again
And carry on
For I will persevere
Undoubting this statement
I see a path that was haphazardly created for me
But with enough care will gradually create
A stone path riddle with the flowers of my accomplishments
That I will bask in for years to come
Along with my loved ones
Because I know that I don’t want to give up now
When the fight has only just begun
The sky is clearer these days
And the grass looks a lot greener
I see only progression from here
No back paddling
And I justify my own action by my own judgment
No freely negative rampage of complaints
No seeking validation or believe others perspective
Of how I live or their need to question my every movement
No shame of seemingly unleveled expectations
Or chaotic thought processes
Not possessively clinging hold to unrealistic wants
But settling on the bigger picture of everything
The desire to progress
The live life with a smile on my face
Brought to me by myself and encouraged lovingly memories
Sharing those smiles with people who deserve it
For a life time of happiness that can only be made by me
Achieved through the feeling of enlightenment
Or an epiphany of sorts
That alone can alter your ways of thinking
Turning your once clouded mind into a mixture warm feeling
I keep that in my memory bank
And enjoy the ride I was bless with
But given the will to change it when ready
And I’m ready now to start that something new
Without fear or doubt
Because I have truly passed that point
Being alive mean you have the time to live
So why waste it on anything but that
Don’t stress the small things
Because they happen for reasons unknown to us
But hold a deeper purpose
That we can learn to understand
The message tells us the moral of the story
And we can choose to accept the teaching or ignore it
But I rather just give in a learn because
Time I spend on other things I can be growing
And becoming who I desire in spirit and confidence
I know for certain that I am never alone because
The lessons are there
And trust me I’m learning
Sometimes slowly but I still will try
Everything new is kind of scary
But thrilling when finally conquered