Harmless Thorns

tell me why does her smile go to a frown

then after a while reverts back to a smile

 

I think she might be crazy

 

still I am… crazy

 

about her and her dysfunctional attitude

 

she’s unappreciative and lacks gratitude

she can be too intolerable and so damn rude

 

I tell myself, “Self, we don’t like her”

 

then I turn around and find a reason to love her

 

I know we have the least in common

she like pasta

 

I eat top ramen

 

she never has much to bring to the table

still I’m good and eating well on my label

 

she’s a vegetarian and calls me a carnivore

fine with me, I’ll eat chicken till thunder roars

 

she prays while I meditate

I like reptiles, she’s afraid of snakes

 

I say now, she says it has to wait

 

I like the door closed

 

she like it opened wide

 

she’s an exhibitionist

 

I seek out places to hide

 

she tells me, it’s a car

I call it my ride

 

she talks to me all of the time

 

I pay her no mind

 

translation, I do not OWE her any attention

therefore I do not have to  PAY attention to her

 

not to mention

 

I gave to her a dozen red roses to… die

she gave to me a bushel of red apples to… rot

 

though it may seem crazy

 

to me she means a lot

 

sometimes I want to strike her like a match

sending her back to ash

 

sweep her up and dump her in the trash

 

this is an inside joke

so I laugh out loud till I choke

 

because I am… crazy

about her and her dysfunctional attitude