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Xo

Gizmo

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Ever since my grandma has had back surgery she’s been filling like a burden lately, and I can’t help but fill as thought she starting to notice my bad habits. There would be days where we would butt heads because she has these needs of doing everything for herself I guess she’s so use to being independent that the need of depending on any one else taking care of her makes her a bit irritated. I have to constantly tell her to relax or take it easy for a little while because the fact of the matter is I know that she is unable to do something’s for herself like she is use to and it pains me to see the pain on my grandma’s face. When I visited her the day after her surgery is when I realized that I never want to see her in another hospital bed again truth be told I nearly cried that morning to much was running threw my mind and I don’t know what came over me but I instantly started praying for her before I left. I kissed her on the forehead and said I loved her leaving that hospital that same morning couldn't have felt more wrong. I never thought It as being selfish or wrong I just wanted to spend some time with the one that I love some of the family came down on me like a hurricane making it seem that what I was doing was just shameful asking me twenty one questions and even thought I told my grandma a month in advance they said I should’ve not taken the chance because what if something would of went wrong then what? So I thought about it for a while. I then came to the conclusion that they were absolutely right how could I have been so selfish to the woman who practically raised me from the ground up but the really crazy part about this is when my grandma look at me and said *aren't you suppose to be spending the weekend with your girlfriend* I laugh and said I wanted to see you first. She had look at the clock and asked me what time my bus came wondering if I was go be late in that moment the way our eyes connected automatically told the both of us what the other person wasn't willing to say her eyes told me to go and she’ll be fine my eyes told her that I am sorry and I should stay… to be continue. P.s. this is not a story or a poem. Because everything I wrote really happened