44 AFFAIR

Ive cheated, truly
on every lover i ever had
after you 
not physically
just emotions
i let you in-
ways i wont let another in
i let you get away with things
i would never let another get away with 
i kiss them thinking bout you because i hated kissing, until i met you
i sometimes imagine seeing your face in theirs
i sometimes wish they were you
i even get them to try to *** me the way you use to
i would whisper bs in they ears, but ill be thinking bout you
when they say who is it in my head i scream your name 
i would be pleasing them imagining yours,
which is hard to do because no one has measured
up
to
you
i would listen to there heart beat 
but its never in sync with mine 
the ways yours use to be 
i even caught myself yelling out your name for something they did
that you do
i tried dating someone who was the complete opposite of you but that just drew me closer to you
i tried not seeing you
but i keep coming back
you know i would never leave you
and thats apart of me
that hates you

in a twisted way i love it