rocc paper honesty

You we're not even a full week yet and I was still dealing with depression,cheating so i would listen to beats to get the guilt off my chest I feel like inadequate father you're mom would be up late at night to make sure you were good while I was sleep I mean I would be up with you too but not as up as your mother was plus when you would cry I'd rock you back and fourth too sleep sometimes it'd work but nine times out of ten I'd have to give you up to your grandma because she'd be the one to soothe you as soon as she had you in her arms you wouldn't even make a sound and sometimes it'd be your grandpa to soothe you as well I'm trippin right? It hasn't even been a week since you had been born and yet I feel out of place because I was the witness to you getting passed around to everybody but me accept for when they had something to do that was the only time I had you I feel like I'm fading into the background of a future picture that was taken to capture you're happiness and the people who made you happy jealousy could play a huge roll in the reason why I feel the way I do and maybe it's me being petty but I am your father and to witness you being happy with that beautiful simile on your faces caused by everybody else but me leaves a taste of bitterness in my mouth