the sun massages my feet

You ever felt like you weren't respected enough? Like no matter what you did to make people take you seriously they just ignore you or brush you off isn't it was nothing? I honestly talk way to much constantly saying immature do this that imma do that my actions are going to be the one to answer for me from now on crazy thing is in my head I though I had so much time left turns out I ju st been letting it passed me by without so much as a title of success to my name I'm still over weight I'm still unemployed still being walk all over on by my family and my girls family it's like I am a slave to the people that help me and a slave to life period I can't keep repeating myself I can't keep bot being taking seriously I don't wanna sleep anymore I don't wanna eat anymore I don't want to laugh anymore everything I do has to be a thousand percent serious or else I would have failed not only myself but my daughter as well and a lot of is out place I gotta watch what I say I gotta watch what I eat I gotta watch what who speak to and what I post on ig and fb I get absolutely no respect and quite frankly I've done nothing as of late for people to be respecting me to begin my entire existence needs a 360 meaning physically I gotta change mentally I gotta change spiritual I gotta change nothing can stay the name I can't keep telling people my plans everyday has to be a change to better my life because I don't see no other that I can be with my daughter and truly be able to take care of her if other people is taking up rolls they have no position but u sit back and don't say nothing I have no power no authority what little power I do have is always being taken for granted ain't no other way to do this this lazy mindset has gotten me no where but broke overweight and lazy but those are the actions that I've done my biggest mistake was having a baby by women I'm not even in love with and respect me anymore in order to do this I have to go bacc to reading the Bible I been so out of sync with God its crazy I'm not even Christian anymore that's how bad it is