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I many times awaken
Frail and shaken
Feeling left in the dark
While my body withers as its breaking
My soul has taken flight
At some point in the night
With no more strength to fight
And run the race in which I once took so much delight
I acknowledge my weakness
But did God ever acknowledge my meekness?
He caused me to be humble
But I question, did He also make me stumble?
How much power does the devil really
If He could only do what God does allow
Do you get mad at the bully
Or you get angry at the father who sits idly letting it happen
Yes, I do question many times... why, when & how?!
I have eagerly fought
Never allowed my soul to get purchased and bought
Wisdom is the ONLY thing that I truly ever sought
But somehow my human frailty
Has led me to the fishers net and now I’m emotionally caught!
Scared because I dare to even question
Whether or not my seconds and minutes are curses or blessings
Why do you allow me to continue to awaken daily?
When I awaken every sunrise, I feel my body’s frailty
MY sickness is getting worse
As if I was given a curse
Yet I find the power to conjure up some rhythmic type verse
While my mind sores to the heavens
My body is slow entering into a hearse
I am nearly no longer committed
Because in my soul there lies a hole
It has been emptied out these past four years
As my soul is now laying in Sheol
The grave has been my friend
For just about four years now
I push forward in hopes every single second
That you will bless me in some magnificent way I can not imagine how!
No money, no health and a crumbling marriage
With a wife who resents my very presence
Why do you let me live on in flesh form
When you’ve already taken away my essence?
I beg you to give me power
To not just over come this moment of depression
I hate to drink in days that are sour
And I’m tired of being forced to learn so many lessons
I just want to wake up tomorrow
With a heart filled with peace, joy and no sorrow
Honestly, what’s my incentive to continue…
…And to go to live on with time that’s obviously just borrowed?
I hope that this dismal message
Does not effect the reader in any fashion
Because I only seek a better day in reality
So God I ask you to please grant me compassion!
SkTzO
