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Your perception of me
Is a travesty
A conception of which
You will never understand
Embedded so deeply
In your lack of humanity
Because you refuse to be
Humane
And I’m the one who becomes insane
In trusting friends
Who never were
Or loved ones
And family
Who don’t want to admit
They share the same blood as me
Who can’t see
Intrinsically
I am not the sum of my sexuality
That there’s more to me
A duality
A sum of parts
That made me real to you
At one time
Now you treat me as if
I’ve committed a crime
In being me
Who else can I be?
Should I pretend
To be something I’m not
To feel something I don’t
To mend the fences you erected
Because you can’t admit you disrespected
Me
-Your son
-Your best friend
-Your brother
Why I get this from my own mother
I will fail to ever understand
This isn’t something I chose or planned
I die each day I have to suppress
Myself
And each time I
Have to defend and address
Who I am and why I am this way
Something I fundamentally
Strive to understand
Myself
I’d drink to my health
But my mental
Is inconsequential
When it comes to delineating
How I should live
Though you prefer me to exist
-survive
*** that
I rather thrive
And if revealing who I am
-What you define as a faggot
Is enough to drive you away
Then you best make it a habit
And stay the ***
Out of my life…
I’ve struggled too long
Picking up the gun and knife
Wondering if I should end it
Before some predatory, homophobic
Does it for me
So I’m sorry if my big reveal
Makes you feel a little quirky
It’s not my mental that’s been murky
It’s the illusion
You had of me
-Desired me to be
But I’ll tell you right now
-I’m something!
