Blood of my Blood

CATEGORY

life

I wish that I could pull you back from the dead by your hair

Slap you in your face, and make you understand that the streets

They don’t love you

They’ll consume you

And maybe you know this already

Maybe you just don’t care

Or maybe this spirit of death follows you, even to your slumber               

Destruction knows no bounds

And maybe, just maybe you’ll welcome death

Because anything is easier than living life with the deck of cards that we’ve been dealt

I know your depression

Because we are connected by blood

You are my sister

And your pain is my pain

And our mother raised soldiers

But nothing else

Shot us out into a world that ate us up

With no prepared instructions for her three baby girls

What could you have been, or what can you still be?

The world has not been kind to us

And the first person that you have ever loved broke your heart worse than any man or woman could

I know,

Because she broke mine too

And she set the precedent for how I allowed others to treat me

We worry about our men

But forget that our women are soldiers too

Ridden with pain, and anger too

Post traumatic stress from seeing bullets fly

I’ll never forget the one that pierced your face

We are so disconnected from one another

Because we’ve been taught to kill to survive

Even our siblings

Wake up please

I don’t want to drag you but I will

Know that you are not just a person who causes pain

But that you are beautiful

And I’m sorry

For never telling you

And for never understanding

That you and her took the brunt of all of the horrible things that were meant for me

Ate them whole and swallowed the pain

But never learned how to fully trust, or to love freely without fear

We never learned how to communicate with one another

Or

Even how to love each other

I never realized just how cold that I can be

I just want health

Mental, physical, spiritual,

Just a sense of normalcy in a chaotic world

I give so much of myself

We give so much of ourselves, that we can’t even realize when we are in pain

How long will you be at war with yourself?

Torture yourself for your faults?

And then drown in them?

How long will it be before we understand?

And that just like millions of brown faces

You are just as lost as them

And I love you

Still. 

Forgive, but don’t forget.