17600
I got pain, but my eyes can't make rain.
To much sand running through my veins.
Using liquor as novicane.
To numb me from some of the weirdest things.
Some people call them feelings.
I guess I must be inhumane.
Cause nothing is what I'm feeling.
I no longer find things appealing.
Low energy, as if I had iron deficiency.
Or maybe something inside needs dealing, to lead to some healing?
Reading scriptures, looking for messages that are curing.
Praying but, faith without works leads to dead endings.
Scarred and hardened from life's sharp edgings.
Trying to bring me to my knees, with pleas of begging.
To walk the earth with facial egging.
Less than a man, a bearded fledgling.
Suffering mockery, judgement and ridiculing.
Stubborn, I bow to no man.
So I stand, face bland, no matter what I'm a man.
Surrender is a word I don't understand.
Army of self, as I take command.
Leading myself out of desolate lands.
God helps those who help themselves, the scriptures are starting to sink in.
Forward steps made with firm footing.
Gaining ground, cause my mind been running.
Followed by actions of progressive churning.
Feeding this fire inside that's been burning.
To be the best, at whatever task I'm performing.
Using these two shoulders to haul all these burdens.
The gift and the curse, angels and demons.
Internal struggles, day and evening.
Looking for reasoning, to believe in anything again.
Inhale, exhale, seasons change, endured all its weathering.
360 degrees, no more circling.
The road to the riches is where I'm traveling.
Excess baggage is what I'm dropping.
Hidden treasures is what I'm collecting.
And I'm the most valuable gem, no more self loathing.
As the dirt falls off, what is seen is natural glowing.
As I watch those who betrayed me realize, with eyes bulging.
They've already held what they sought without knowing.
