I wanna trade in my stubby spindleshanks...,       (a poor excuse for legs), 
and get me the latest 
sophisticated prosthetics advancements, 
whereat integration of cultured stem cells 
into custom made appendages 
allows, enables, and provides 
unfortunate recipients of amputations 
to experience sensations. 
  
No more will yours truly 
(skinny legged sexagenarian) 
envy amputees fitted with smart limbs 
equipped tricked out arms and legs, 
cuz he will be proud owned 
with false limbs 
(mainly legs, I did not decide 
about equally spindly arms) 
finding a once nasty, short 
and brutish solitary 
Norwegian bachelor farmer 
transformed into a very charming, tall 
and humane debonair troubadour 
rivaling the likes of any swain. 
  
No insult meant 
for those handicapped, 
who experience(d) phantom limb 
perhaps linkedin to 
fierce near mortal ko...  | 
  
  
  
       
      Growing my hair down below my knees...       stimulated courtesy follicles, 
where Coconut, Olive, Grapeseed, 
Jojoba, Amla and Vitamin E oils 
allowed, enabled, 
and provided head start 
germinating peach fuzz into brown strands 
after Flaxseeds, Pumpkin seeds and Fenugreek 
being sprinkled on my scalp 
yielded a bumper crop of hirsute weeds 
occasionally tripping me up 
 
analogous to hallucinogen 
causing a public health hazard 
warranting, necessitating, and goading me 
to give shout out for stylist 
to tender mine lovely brunette locks, 
which might be repurposed into a wig 
for patients undergoing chemotherapy, 
or afflicted with alopecia, 
(the partial or complete absence 
of hair from areas of the body 
where it normally grows; baldness). 
  
As a knobby kneed, puny, 
scrawny, wimpy kid whose, 
(back in the nineteen sixties), 
his parents decree...  | 
  
  
  
       
      Unsettling premonition kickstarts fiendish abomination       Consider the following 
dogmatic, enigmatic, fantastic, 
idiotic, jargonistic, kimetic, linguistic, 
narcissistic, opportunistic, 
poetic, quixotic, rhapsodistic, 
scholastic, transformistic, 
universalistic agglomeration 
as an abbreviation 
overactive imagination 
wrought demonic manifestation 
  
unaware reading dictionary 
could engender garrison housing 
Century 21 ghostly conjuration 
paranormal shenanigans this 
Lake Wobegon resident 
grudgingly attests perturbation 
disembodied spirit betook 
(analogous to Casper 
the friendly ghost) 
"FAKE" spooky introduction 
  
primarily cause ethereal 
phantom of the opera mine 
diaphanous doppelganger actualization 
forcing agonizing confrontation 
blindly highlighting spectacular illumination 
constituting undeniable declaration, 
... | 
  
  
  
       
      Try mumbo jumbo chicken gumbo soup saith dumbo       Yours truly an unfortunate hostage 
within Homo sapien zoo 
presenting poetic hodge podge 
and mis mash to you 
looking for unwitting subject(s) to woo, 
and albeit impossible mission) to free me, 
where within human bondage I stew 
more specifically mine personally 
  
custom designed invisible 
prison self made, 
thus wishing to don persona 
of such an éminence grise 
as Jawaharlal Nehru, 
and trumpet courteous helloo 
before bidding kith and kin 
and fellow humans permanent adieu. 
  
When free and clear out of the blue 
methinks I hear a voice 
calling me matt chew 
which intones do 
please try a healthy dose - Mister Fitzhugh, 
a Louisiana creole speciality touted 
as psychological cureall within Hangzhou 
capital of Zhejiang 
sheng (provinc...  | 
  
  
  
       
      Detailing delicate defecation debacle       Otherwise wordily titled: pooped out 
after pouring bucketfuls of water into 
place of ablutions 
all the while skipping to my loo 
umpteen times courtesy bathtub faucet 
turned toward hot temperature 
so toilet would finally, 
magnificently, and royally flush. 
  
As ofttimes occurred in the past 
anonymous reader's time 
I once again promise to waste 
concerning asinine verbiage 
without this bard arse feeling shamefaced 
broadcasting his fealty 
to posterior predilections must appear 
(as rearing to volley rebuttal 
against fans of mine) yours truly 
ofttimes discusses that byproduct, 
which issues out buttucks) narrow-based 
if not downright banal, gross, offal... in haste 
to craft something more philosophical 
how craven potty talk 
whereby theme doth self debase. 
... | 
  
  
  
       
      Easter as interpreted by one...       rebated, rebelled, rebirthed, rebooted, 
and rebuked courtesy 
one ill shod Unitarian atheist, 
who means NOT to affect 
any sacrilegious fallout 
nor offend devoutly religious 
man, woman, or child, 
when the most important 
Christian holiday notated, 
a veritable “movable feast” 
occurs Sunday, March 31, 2024. 
  
Though avast percentage 
of stonehenge temple piloted ghosts, 
harking back millennia 
constantly zip unseen thru aerospace, 
easily being mistaken for led zeppelin, 
they unwittingly espy 
woolly sheep hush fleeced herd 
profoundly religious village peep pull 
plodding fast as their 
cleft hoofs take them 
along well worn path 
of former crusaders 
analogous to Riders on the Storm. 
  
Among acquiescent, concupiscent 
fervescent, juvenescent 
obmute...  | 
  
  
  
       
      I dread the United States presidential 2024 outcome...       Whereby yours truly presages and doth abhor 
nothing short of an imminent civil war 
dwarfing insurrection on January 6, 2021 
oddly enough even reducing 
ordinary decibels to a mute whisper 
madding crowd trumpeting cacophony of ?th?r 
drowning out sense and sensibility 
allowing, enabling, and providing 
golden opportunity for anarchy to run rampant 
one issuing, earthshaking, and booming 
as one collective soul with pride 
 
against prejudice queercore 
amidst pandemonium of lawlessness 
voices at the forefront ear splitting din 
most all social media platforms 
buzzfeeding, jump/kickstarting, 
and twittering bigotry, 
gender inequity, and misogyny nevermore 
gender diversity celebrated 
reveling harmoniously think 
arranged marriage of Kokila and Kishore 
parents (most likely deceased) 
 
of Menil and Amit, 
one form...  | 
  
  
  
       
      SAFELINK TracFone synonymous...       Dear SafeLink Customer, 
(one of the many recipients includes me). 
 
The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) announced that the Affordable Connectivity Program (ACP) is ending, and April 2024 will be the last fully funded month for your benefits if Congress does not provide additional funding. 
 
All ACP customers on all service providers will be affected but we have made it our highest priority to keep you connected. Even if Congress does not provide additional ACP funding after April, and the FCC only authorizes a partial funding in May, SafeLink will fully fund your ACP benefits through May 31st, 2024. This will give Congress more time to fund this program without impacting you. 
 
Aforementioned bulletin elicited following: 
 
SAFELINK TracFone synonymous... 
 
not only as my lifeline, 
and connectivity insurance 
with family, friends and strangers, 
whereby yours truly 
experiences...  | 
  
  
  
       
      Just because an impetus arose...       to repost poem 
(I chanced to locate 
amidst plethora of poems on hard drive 
of Macbook Pro) 
written more'n a half decade ago 
before yours truly 
blissfully oblivious to crypto- 
currency shenanigans linked into 
 
fiendish scammers after which 
I (especially me button nose) didst glow 
(giving Rudolph the red nosed reindeer 
a run for his money) 
whence rage, 
on par with wrath of Khan, 
whereby mine money 
witnessed lightspeed outflow. 
 
Thank dog, and cat, 
no pet tee filed - late fee 
incurred from this 
sole heir, matted son 
Avenue of Harris communiqué 
to his youngest sister 
busy as a queen bee, 
her name mentioned 
backwards solely for 
wry ming sense – re: 
garding Dunning-Harris Shari: 
  
Not there need not 
be any clear cut, 
nor cloudy total 
...  | 
  
  
  
       
      Matthew O' Harris Ease A "FAKE" Irishman       Saint Patrick's Day, or 
Feast of Saint Patrick 
Lá Fhéile Pádraig 
invoke even non Irish to proclaim 
Éirinn go Brách 
translated as "Ireland Forever." 
  
Though semitic thru and thru 
yours truly (me) dons guise of being Irish 
trumpeting hoople linked with 
the folklore and culture of Emerald Isle 
juiced tin he nuff tame afore 
thee 2024 Saint Patrick's Day, 
(hens this faux written accent 
donned to sail hub berate won big todo 
fur those peep pull 
o' Eire rush deuce cent) 
  
aye pretend, and thence make oop 
duff fallow wing vary minor event 
harkening back e'er sins this generic gent, 
hooped tubby imp poet hint wannabe, 
(who hapt tubby absent 
without leave from Brogue kin home 
since a lil whippersnapper, and accident 
  |