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Intrusive thoughts pulling me, closer, (to the edge.)
I need more than prayers,
and 10 Hail Mary's, to talk me, (off this ledge)...
He fell from the Heavens, and rests on my shoulder, Devoured Man, in the Garden, And made my heart, colder.
'Stood by Judas, And mocked the cross, Raised Hell on earth, And mocks our loss!
Paralysis as I sleep,
(The fear & the dread,)
Wake me up from this slumber,
As I carefully tread..
Cradle to the Grave,
(Encryptions of the Beast!)
Blasphemous Sixes,
(As the demons, start to feast!)
Torn between
A beautiful release and
Longevity
Tempting to say the least
It’s true what they say
(The flesh is weak)
A proclivity for defeat
Rich from the deceit
Lucifer taunts me
With tantalizing dreams
Can’t sit still
Imagining…
Hanging
From
The
Ceiling
State assistance
Pays for the therapy
I have each week
Pretending my attendance
Lessens
My depression
Told my psychiatrist to point me
In the right direction
Where positive impression
Is embellished
She clears her throat
Then straightens her lenses
Before asking me
The burning question
Is your intention to self harm?
Not today
I say-
Distracted with ideations
I say I’m finished
Once more
Masking my self-loathing
With awkward grimace
The devil curtails when
I don’t succumb to life’s hurdles
He rather I end it now
(A quick trip to the inferno)
Everyday a constant struggle to further
(Drowning in existence)
Gun to the head
Like I’m about to
Commit murder
Straight jacket,
Locked & loaded,
Spinning the revolver!
Like it's
Russian Rou-lette!
One shot, one kill,
So I can:
Forgive & Forget!
Put me out of my misery, (I don't want company,)
Send in the Calvary, when I count, to 3!
Praying to the
Prince of peace
To come save me
Instead
I dance with the fallen angels
Flaunt my broken halo
Sadistic, twisted thoughts
That I entangle
Mangled,
In a suicidal triangle
No one understands
My mind is warped
I’m about to dismantle
In the meantime
Playing the cards
I was dealt
Betting it all
On the gamble
Written By: Dez Sevena & Maria Chavez
