Emancipation proclamation from Samson fixation
Otherwise titled deep into my fiftieth year of passive aggressive rebellious puberty.
Yes, I chickened out getting a haircut yesterday August twenty seventh two thousand and twenty four as stated in a previous poem before undergoing cataract surgery cause mine deux (mind you) ponytail donation of at least by donating at least eight inches of these straggly tresses to a facility that repurposes cut hair for Children with Hair Loss after getting golden – more specifically brunette imponderable locks lopped off, would still cost me thirty five dollars namely at Salon Nova (situated at west Ridge Pike, Suite A, Royersford, Pennsylvania, 19468) not including a tip, which extra bonus, (would most likely top off the total cost close to fifty dollars, but yours truly best ask this question ahead of time, which monetary fait accompli with scissors might best set my sights until speedy recovery videre licet post cataract surgery.
Sacrilegious... |
Trumpeting future mercurial villain of history
Predicated on his paying obese sense
to Ronald McDonald patron saint
buzzfeeding his pie hole
courtesy "two Big Macs, Fillet-O-Fish
and a chocolate malted,"
he hungrily nabbed the ?Tuesday,
November 5, 2024? election
ofttimes series of unfortunate events
found him holed up
in his Mar-a-Lago Donjon club.
After demise of western civilization
linkedin to implementation of Project 2025
courtesy the forty seventh president
of these currently fragmented United States,
left a legacy that rivaled
the fall of the Roman Empire.
Nary a trace of North American grandeur
discerned amidst the bombed out
rubble strewn landscape
after the second Civil War,
triggered global mortal kombat,
which far eclipsed
the first and second world wars
in death and destruction
(courtesy Beatle browed
foo fighting,... |
I leave buying food at the market to the spouse...
one helluva comparative
humdinger savvy shopper,
who can rattle off the best buy
for most any given item,
at the drop of a hat
analogous to baseball fanatic
(unlike myself who knows and cares
nothing about the game)
spewing forth Batting average (BA),
on-base percentage (OBP),
and slugging percentage (SLG)
often referred to together
as a player's "slash line".
A fourth batting stat
known as on-base plus slugging (OPS),
which is a combination of OBP and SLG.
Other batting stats include runs batted in (RBI),
where a batter is credited with an RBI
when they score a run
as a result of their plate appearance.
Meanwhile back to the wife,
who would willingly truck
(courtesy driving our 2020 Sonata Elantra)
from one store or anoth... |
August 13th, 2024 – twenty five plus years since awful series of unfortunate events
Once again tis time to pony up and trot out (neigh - without horsing around) an unforgettable day encompassing a series of unfortunate events (so take that Lemony Snicket! - yeah go ahead and picket!).
Wicked bad day poem
originally crafted, designed, engineered...
then alternately titled
for no particular rhyme nor reason:
unwitting courtesy extended
to Doctor Donald (Duck) Dossey
who coined paraskevidekatriaphobia.
Superstitious severely tested across fineline
doggedly gingerly jinxing luck of mine
August thirteenth nineteen hundred and ninety nine
forever etched in the annals of my personal infamy
as one still sending hair raising shivers down my spine
which following unpleasant details occurred on a street
that branched off kind of like a fork tine
adjacent to one named Woodbine.
Prior to the following awful events
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The remnants of August 2024 Hurricane Debbie
Like a humane huntress, she
(the anthropomorphized storm)
brought a spate of cool Autumn like
temperatures and gentle soothing rain
here within my neck of the woods
for the last couple of days.
No matter the fall equinox
and first day of autumn arrives
countless weeks from now
on Sunday, September 22, 2024,
at 08:44 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time
in the Northern Hemisphere
synonymous with The Eastern Time Zone
a time zone encompassing part or all of 23 states
in the eastern part of the United States,
parts of eastern Canada,
and the state of Quintana Roo in Mexico
the only Mexican state to observe EST.
Said geographical area
moved from Central Time to Eastern Time
after a successful lobbying effort
by tourism interests.
In 2015, the state of Quintana Roo changed to a new time zone, Zona Sure... |
The remnants of August 2024 Hurricane Debbie
Like a humane huntress, she
(the anthropomorphized storm)
brought a spate of cool Autumn like
temperatures and gentle soothing rain
here within my neck of the woods
for the last couple of days.
No matter the fall equinox
and first day of autumn arrives
countless weeks from now
on Sunday, September 22, 2024,
at 08:44 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time
in the Northern Hemisphere
synonymous with The Eastern Time Zone
a time zone encompassing part or all of 23 states
in the eastern part of the United States,
parts of eastern Canada,
and the state of Quintana Roo in Mexico
the only Mexican state to observe EST.
Said geographical area
moved from Central Time to Eastern Time
after a successful lobbying effort
by tourism interests.
In 2015, the state of Quintana Roo changed to a new time zone, Zona Sure... |
As a mortal man of threescore and five years...
I bore witness and/or assimilated, gleaned,
and nursed implacable thirst for knowledge
courtesy reading factual narratives,
historical fiction, or biography
that since the advent of Homo sapiens
avast number of civilizations
and their discontents
(throve and languished)
their legacy peppered
with historical achievements
particularly military exploits
punctuated equilibrium
by false sense of security
under_scored with relatively
long periods of peace
concluding with convulsive denouement
videre licet self destructive elements of style
sophisticated weapons of mass destruction
contrarily at the apotheosis of
scientific, mathematical, artistic...
adjudication, beautification, communication,
demystification, exemplification, fortification,
gamification, horrification, identification,
jollification, lub... |
Yours truly embarks on wild goose chase after elusive pot of gold
alternately titled: incorrigible lottery dreamer
big plans to relocate self and spouse
to some tropical island paradise
by the dashboard light
(the above line credited
to musician named Meatloaf)
upon arrival of Stanley steamer.
When my ship comes in loaded
and laden with precious cargo
from busy ports far and wide
captains trumpeting their arrival
donning sunglasses traipsing incognito
yours truly spied
at merchants wares
cast dark shadows
from the outer limits at noontide.
A fool's errand finds me emptying out billfold,
while being gagged and bound with a blindfold
My blood runs cold
My memory has just been sold
My angel is the centerfold
steaming with madness analogous
to exhaust or intake manifold,
especially as the winnings i...
|
Dusk hoover ring dawn ting task of badinage...
This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters hyperbole
insync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage
bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)
teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing vermilion vintage vermouth
without shadow of doubt signifying untruth
merely relishes using me pickled brine
as a practiced whereby this word sleuth
doth das scribe today July twenty seventh, tooth
house sand and twenty four, hoop fully
hits pun hushing metaphorical home runs,
yours truly figurative slugger and word sleuth
rivaling those four baggers
fielded by legendary Babe Ruth
lemme know if literary endeavor
... |
Though no political pundit, nevertheless...
I trumpet the withdrawal
of democratic contender from out the presidential race.
Breaking headline news story
courtesy rumor monger premieres
showcasing emphatic groundswell
against feeble minded incumbent.
Extraordinary turn of current events
immediately enlivens the United States populace
injecting much needed lively discussion
about gerontocracy deliberating for the electorate.
Though ill suited for any storied role in American government
yours truly (a sexagenarian) could vouchsafe for entrusting the
beleaguered state of the union in the hands of a qualified female
or male candidate born within Generation X Born 1965–1980.
Upon growing national groundswell of alarm
agonizing, capitalizing, eulogizing, galvanizing,
initializing, jeopardizing, polarizing...
voters (née namely citiz... |
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