Its Ok To Not Be Ok

Running Away

I am literally running away from everything but I found something in the process. I definitely know what I dont want. I want more for more life and it is definitely coming to me. The world is enough and more. I have gathered among you to understand my purpose and in that quest I found something more. 

I found who I am. 

But it still feels like Im running away.

Poetic Vibe

I just got a poetic vibe. I saw the world for what it was and I was really too far behind. I am a sensing being moving in and out of frequencies. I was humbled and in awe of God and had the feeling that he knew my future and my past and giving me small hints all along the way. 

The poetic vibe was strong and I was here for it. 

Flirting With Life

I was flirting with life and she wanted me bad. She was whispering in my ear and telling me all the things I wanted to her. She was bold with it and I enjoyed every single word. Even the ones that made me question her loyalty. I was already in love and this was based on pure site. I didnt even really get to know her like I needed to. 

I wanted to ask all of the deep questions and in many ways I really didnt want to know the answer.

Nasty Work

It was nasty work how I let those tear drops fall and I really didnt care at all. I wasnt even acting, I was just apalled and one emotion just masked the other. You approached me confidently, no disdain or refrain, just bold with it. 

And your sold yourself that message and I just wasnt buying it. I was going to say I felt betrayed but I didnt want to raise it to that level. I was leveling out and finding new levels. Any destination puts me above you. 

Now your voice is an echo, I can feel you drying out. Don't forget your clothepins. You lived your life, now continue living it. 

Ive already leveled up. 

Gulp

He almost swallowed his throat with that last gulp and wondering just how clear his vision had been. How could he not have seen the world for what it was and all the while focused on her lustful eyes. He knew there was pain at the end of that road and all the while ignoring the dead end sign. He was dancing with the devil and trying to learn all the steps. 

That cha cha slide would be the end of him, he was in love with the feeling and rightly so. How could he be in love with anything else other than that and all the while knowing. The love started as a trickle and then cement and then his heart had no where else to go. He was frozen in place trying to pinch cracks in the concrete thriving and wanting freedom. 

But his gulp along with his tears are the time required to move beyond this place, to continue forward in God's grace as well as his own. And there all the while realizing the truth that as never hidden but all the while feeling.

Sunday

I woke up and the sun came out today. I was proud of both of those things. I was an entity in this world and I still had a say so. So I sad so and made it the best thing that it could have been. I was living in and out of sin and trying to make peace with the world. 

I was swirling sometimes, moving left and right and then the world was still with me. I was still sitting in the sun in Gods favor.

Driven Snow

It was all so clear, even with the driven snow tapping at my window. This was an abyss of thought, of repeating the same thing over and over again but still looking for different answers. I was looking for something more. The only problem was I kept looking in the same places and seeing the same faces. Looking at the same fears and considering them magnified. I lied and I was being lied to and I appreciating the lies that were being told to me. 

Thats messed up.

Rumble Young Man Rumble

I was ready to rumble but I feel back, took a tumble and I was all over the place. This was a good thing. I saw all the players involved. I would not have seen because I was too focused on this one thing. And now I was focused on more important things. Things that I didnt think made a difference. I was lost in the ether but it was right where I needed to be. 

I was trying to solve the problem with my own mind and time was not on my side. It was even in the picture. I was running on fumes and the world ate them. 

 I have my third wind and the plan is to win or maybe the plan is to let go of whats not important and focus on whats important. Still learning I guess.

Consistency

How can I stay in the game longer? I need to master my breath and conserve my energy. I have been going full speed with no need to rest but there is something more here that I am just not seeing. I need to be stronger that my feelings. I was light years ahead and it still felt like I was slowing down. 

I was undefeated but I still had to meet my greatest enemy. The one within. I found God and more importantly he found me and there was always something special there and I thank him every day for all the gifts he has given me. 

I take those same gifts and build an empire and I gift it back to him. Im consistent though. I have been preaching that same message for more decades than I can remember. 

I guess principles do endure.

Salty as F

I really dont like when I am like that, I get salty. Like Im spending too much time judging the world and not enough time just being who I truly am meant to be. It is a funny thing being one with the spiritual, following God's path. 

That's the easy part. We are a mix of everything that the Universe is made of and all the while feeling insignificant. Im spewing hydrogen and if you add some oxygen, things can get really interesting. 

With all this water, im still thirsty though.