In silence I speak fluently,
Boldly I stand, but alas,
I desire to remain hidden.
Upon the footstool of obedience I cower amidst my Father
Lowering my head in fear.
I smile to mask my insecurities.
My emotions are armor that shields me from nothing this world throws at me.
My glass house has cracks as I cast stone after stone toward brethren to uplift them in Him only to forget my transgressions against Him.
I pray everyday, but His presence is still feel far from me.
But didn't you say that when two or more are gathered in your name you're in the midst? Why am I the only one who feels alone?
In my comfort zone I seek refuge,
But Hebrews 4:13 my soul recites "And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account".
Naked I feel uncleaned like the 10 lepers,
But the one who came back i wish to be like him.
I'm just too afraid to look back.
I wish to be like Zacchaeus who boldly proclaimed to give half his possessions and pay back anyone he cheated four times the amount,
But I still struggle financially.
I wish to be like Peter, but sometimes I compare myself to Judas.
Lord, Here i am.
I wish to be made uncomfortable.
I desire eviction from my comfort zone.
I need to be true to you in order to find my identity in you.
This mask i donned for so many years I cast aside.
The love even though tainted will be made Holy if only I accept you.
Heal my brokenness.
Heal these eyes of mine who see people as entities I shy away from.
I stretch out my hand to thee Come rescue me Oh Lord.
I reach out to you. Oh, Lord, please save me.
Help me step out and walk to new beginnings.
