Lethargy

What is legacy? to me... 

wealth and pleasure

 

personal treasures gained

in a loving partnership

 

looking back through my history

adding my tract

 

to all the other tracts 

of our ancestors

 

good, bad, happy, sad

every single One

 

 

to what i imagine 

they might have done

 

if i used my natural intelligence 

in the matter to determine

 

where would i fit in

if i were the one...

 

 

my ancestors did 

with what they had

 

that i've done 

spent or wasted

 

fought battles i'd thought 

i'd won, yet lost

 

victories i have blown

i'd have won if i owned up

 

and did what  i needed to do

to consolidate the wealth

 

which i allowed 

to slip away, wasted

 

instead of run my mouth 

and walk away 

 

from responding 

to my responsibility

 

dimmed vision

sharpened insights

 

my intellect survived

extended alcohol baths

 

music played far too  loud

far too many hours/days/weeks/years

 

chasing dreams i'd never 

invested the time in tears

 

never atoned for the effort wasted

in half-assed attempts to short cut

 

lacking the ability to be self-inspired

to start fires and do better than make do

 

putting the work to the standard 

of my expectation of reward

 

driving the intensity necessary

to reach escape velocity

 

to make my walk in space 

part of a history 

 

for my children to chase

trying to emulate the best

 

that they could be

and continue the legacy

 

rather than measuring success

under the shadows of duress

 

like crabs in a basket

knowing what it could be

 

instead of being steamed in beer

piled upon a newspaper throne

 

 

 

C2