I sit and think how my life would be in five years from now.
Would I be a mother and a wife?
Then the anxiety and fear kicks in.
What if I neglect my kids, like my mother did?
What if my children's father is a monster like my dad?
Could I protect them from having to go through the same pain as me?
What type of mother would I be if I let the very things that hurt me, hurt my children?
Would I let my daughter get molested or rape and act as if everything is okay?
Treat her as if it was her fault, she should have known better at age 5 and 6.
I don't support her, console her, but neglect her as if I'm ashamed of her.
These are the demons I'm dealing with.
I'm scared I will be my mother and my children will be me.
I'm scared my children's father will emotionally abuse them and I'm not there to love them like they should be loved.
They get tossed from home to home, no stability in their lives.
Would they witness me getting beat by a man,
and their dad doing crack?
Could I, would I, be the mother I never had?
Would history repeat itself?
These are my fears.
Phenomenal Paris
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Fear
CATEGORY
life
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COMMENTS
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The Immortal Wize says: be very careful of what you fear, your greatest fears can upon you. This is emotionaly deep very well done. |
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Phenomenal Paris says: Thank you |
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