Save me from myself

CATEGORY

life

I......... am a tidal wave.  I have never known love and I trust no one. Why am I like this? I hurt people, even the ones who have never hurt me. I leave their hearts in broken trails of dust, snorting up my false sense of love like pure cocaine, injecting myself as poison into their veins, I am a prism of pain. So I say do not fall in love with me because I cannot save you, hell I can barely save myself. Don't pull on my hands for safety because I will let you fall......... And i will leave you, allow your heart to burst like a levee and ignore the damage stopping only to say, I have warned you of this from the beginning. So don't fault me of your broken heart, because I don't blame you for mine. Because I warned you that I can kiss you like I love you, and turn and leave you like I never knew you all in one breath. All because I have never known real love, so how can I save you when my heart is so corrupted? Can you save me from myself? Before I end up all alone, because I don't know if I will ever be capable of real love. And I don't know if I can receive it if offered. But you still try and knock down barriers of brick, and mountains of cement but they don't budge because you don't belong here. I am a destructive force, and you will never see me vulnerable, or sweat or even cry because you are windy and seasonal. Easily replaced and forgotten in my mind. One day I am in love with you and the next I don't know you. That is the story of a girl that no one taught how to love, only to survive. But how much longer can I live like this? How much longer will I be able to breathe, can you teach me how to save me from me?