Being wise or no feelings?

Who am I kidding?! These attractions fitted like a glove, I've always guarded every particle of my heart because I didn't want it to get swept under a rug. I've went all of these years without it ever getting shattered, I've seen batter after batter take swings at my cool demeanor, even throwing fast hurtful words, and even some curved painful slurs. I've watched demons laugh and sing every time I would tell them no to some materialistic things. They went 0 to 100 real quick because I wouldn't spend my last on some irrelevant s%#t. As long as we were sheltered and her belly was happy, I had figured I done my job as a protector. Make me out to be the bad guy over some fake nails, fake hair, and a sleezy outfit, some days they came home and I didn't even wanna hit because you allowed the whole city to see my gifts. So I knew it wouldn't last, prayed everyday to remove me away from them really fast. I promised myself as a child not to let anyone hurt me, people always done small things, but I'll be a fool to allow them to do big things to cause pain and rattle my being. Never allowing anyone to make me feel unsure, I've treated people how I wanted to be treated and that's pure. Never been a sucker for love, still in my 20' s and I've never offered all of my heart. They never sat me down and asked what makes me tick, only conversations that we had was wicked or dealing with us buying s#%t and that not the type of people I'm dying with. So we move on and I don't miss nothing about them at all, especially the fake love.. Qadar Dwon'