When It started

I've grown a black hole in the middle of me

Not sure how far it goes cause it's too dark to see

It started years ago with the realization of impending loss

At first it was small barely worth a scoff

So I tried to cover it with stuff

Parties, people, liquor somehow it wasn't enough

The black hole got bigger blacker and deeper

So I tried to fill it

Music, work, love nothing worked it remained a bottomless pit

Then there was the day I lost all feeling

Damn near consumed in entirety by this new inner place

Unrecognizable to myself I began to pray

And in that same day I began healing

No where near the whole person I should be

But no longer in fear of being consumed by this emptiness inside of me

I smile, sing, and praise on the edges of it's abyss

Knowing one day I'll have conquered this

Until then I continue to heal

And ignore the voice telling me to jump into the black hole head over heal.