Man Of Distinction

Why must I feel this way

Every interaction leaves me feeling strange

Be it good or bad doesn't matter

All of it makes me scattered

Even if it puts me on cloud 9

My inner self can't do anything but deny

Deny it's sincere deny it's valid just out right refusal

But anything negative i may take hard but suspect it as usual

 

Why does the nature of you and I concern me so

Constantly pondering whether you be friend or foe

When I know the general answer

But wanting the ones that lie deeper

Am I a gluten for punishment

To want the answers to my questions too have fulfillment

Cause I continuously ponder these inquiries

Then decide I no longer want the Answer to these

 

(sigh) What is a girl to do with a mind full of feelings

A heart full of longing and eyes full of hopeful beginnings

Do I ignore the female inclination to over think and over emotionalize

Or do I hold on to it all and just try to realize

A man of such caliber will reveal when the time is proper

Letting me enjoy it fully or giving my feelings time to find a stopper

Something to just learn to block off the built up inner tensions

Over the sexual sensual encounters that happen all the time but I try not to mention

 

Especially to self

Eff trynna even explain it to anyone else

Explaining how a kiss or touch can give chills from skull to tail bone

Is like trying to explain why a loner loves to be alone

It really just is

Like a container matches to a lid

 

There's no real why to analyze a situation so sensitive

Maybe not to you maybe not to the other but to me it is

And i try  so desperately to ignore it all

Kind of like the pride before the fall

Just bottling and building up closer and closer to explosion

Watching the world through rose colored glasses of distortion

 

So this wise man this man of worth

F**ks my mind ceaselessly and gives it birth

Bringing to life thoughts and feelings I never previously had

And the thought of not having what I want from him makes me mad

But I do know that he gives me exactly what I need

Even if it's not his heart, his life, his hand, his seed

 

I just get from him everything I could never ask of another

He's a best friend, the closest of kin, and a lover

So I'll keep him close by

Letting him silently keep catching my eye

Thinking evermore on it all

Ignoring my pride before I fall

Just letting it absorb in my flesh

Like an osmosis-ized mess

Where it, in turn, can make me, eventually

A woman he can love entirely