Addicted

I chose to love him because my heart's a fool and my mind lost the battle between the two. So I was at it again, giving my all to the end. Auditioning for a part of yet another man's heart.

Fully aware that this role was outside of me, I molded myself to be what he wanted me to be. Content with the fact I wasn't his number one option and ignoring the red flags that would appear quite often. 

So, I loved...hard...as hard as my mind could pretend. Addicted to the title of being a "girlfriend". A fiend, I was, though just because this title was handed, my heart was still left stranded. 

I had made me easy and available so quick, that the will to step up, he just didn't get. Unnecessaary, the effort, for him to put forth. And here I was willing to throw my whole life off course. 

No love for me. Not even from me. I was miserable inside but woud deny it to the public eye. "Of course we're happy. This is the man I'm going to marry" With conviction in my tone, on these words I stood strong.

But at last I faced the truth, 

I was a temporary boo.

To be discarded like the trash,

after being consumed of all I had.