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Cold ... Dark ... Damp December;
how swiftly you crept upon me.
I always can tell once you've arrived because sleep flees...
untill your gone another comes.
Time passes to quickly lately... ...
So quickly these past few years.
Seems like i can see the past peering back from present tears.
I miss the old days...
The old days with long Mississippi summers on 36th place.
Those old days with crisp stagnant winters stuck inside wit my siblings.
Mamas little size 6 feet treading through the house on those hardwoood floors.
Such a mini sized woman with a super sized spirit ... " flump... flump... flump", a sound demanding your attention when barreling down on you.
Barreling down announcing how we'd get aong and be close if it kills you because were all we've got when your gone.
Barreling down complaining about two forks and a bowl being "all them damn dishes".
Barreling down stating how she knows she gets on our damned nerves, but were gonna miss her wen shes gone.
I swear mama ; you've never been so right...
Swear i'd never been so wrong...
I miss you so deeply,
Since you've left its so hard to love anyone completely.
I so miss our days laughing and sharing secrets like two sisters... So many of my secrets you've kept.
I didnt realize untill later you were my best friend.
Those days of bonding, dicipline, anger, then making amends.
Those days I'd cry for being to short... to yellow... or having to big hair, lol.
You'd let me lay on your lap as you stroked my face wipeing all of my angst away.
Reminding me i was beautiful, unique, and telling me ow much Daddy loved me.
I miss those days you'd check me out of school for daughter mother time; only to go to a few stores ... just because you missed me ... though you probably needed me more.
I dreamt of you last night; I felt your hand upon my cheek ...
Though i knew it wasnt real ... your smile was so bright ... I just wanted to feel you near.
You let me lay on your lap as you stroke my face and hair; you told me you missed us all ... and how your sorry you cant actually be here.
You listend as is cried about my guilt with pulling the plug, and how I felt you may still be here if I'd been home that day instead of always working so much.
Las night I dreamt of you ...
I think you knew i was mssing your love...
You let me lay on you as you stroked my face and gave me endless hugs.
Then you were gone and I awakened to Cold, Bleak, Dark December...
How swiftly you crept around.
But I always know when you've arrived because sleep ... it never comes.
- I miss you Mama -
