pretender

CATEGORY

life

i stand in front of the mirror and reflect upon my reflection.

reflect the self inflicted wounds

dissect the my self esteem to categorize under "High" and "Low"

i swing the lowest on my sweetest charriot

yet still i cant come home

to the real.

i rather live this fantasy

i rather pretend

i position the muscles underneath my glistening melanated skin as it scintillates in the sun

reversing the truth with my reverie

i trade reality for illusion

my darkness is merely sunshine

my rain are diamonds

then the roles i assigned myself to play begin to switch on me

fantasy switched to reality

my sunshine is now shaded

my diamonds turn into dust

i pretended to love.

i pretended to smile.

yet you didn't see anything because your perception was reality.

so when i was in need of a helping hand, you simply saw something fixed.

something never broken.

something never torn.

but behind these almond eyes is a beautiful disaster.

a beautiful ruin.

the only thing i didn't pretend was being a beautiful woman.