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romance

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He wanted a life with me, for the life of me I couldn't see why. He seen something in me, but he wasn't my kind of guy. After years of playing tag, we never committed and maybe that's why I never saw our future past what I seen through my eyes. We grew together and apart, I always kept my heart on guard. Many times I have been disappointed and refused to get use to something I never wanted. I never wanted to settle but I had already thrown in the time.. The clock is ticking and age 30 was on speed dial. Embarrassed by my choices and lack of determination I found myself stuck in a unwanted destination. I continued looking on with hope and preservation and maybe there could still be hope in this situation. I loved and loved and lost which was such a waste, I never thought I'd see the day that I would finally say.. Yes to the pressure of a ring with a lifetime of uncertainty but maybe it was all a dream because in my mind I was settling. I've only had a few true loves but things didn't work out n I had given up. Trying to stay true to me, true indeed I was a mother carrying yet another seed. Family seems so far and distant out of state, to have one more chance to start over I wouldn't hesitate. So many choices to be made and victory had not yet became apparent to me. I hope I can be as happy as I pretend to be but I guess it's part of having Serenity. Well enough about me.. I just want to vent to the flow of poetry.