Misconception

CATEGORY

life

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I used him. Too scared and impatient to sit still like God placed it on my heart. Now I've inadvertently misused him. Dang. I never saw myself becoming this person. God told me to sit still and like a little child I sat for a little bit... Then I got distracted at him when he popped up and peeked in the window Of my life. Eventually the curiosity caught the best of me.... And I found myself sneaking out the door to get a better peek. He was amazing. Never have I met a man so sweet, He had to be a blessing. He had to be the answer.... To my prayers. If only you knew. If only you really understood... Then maybe you would understand. Many a nights I prayed. Many a nights I cried... Then I would pray again. "Father God, Please bless me with a man, a head of my household. Somebody to love me and complete my family. Somebody I can love with no regrets." That was my most repeated request. I tried to sit still, be patient. I tried to focus on the knowledge God was feeding me so I would be hip when it came time to take the test.... But I got distracted. I got sidetracked. I was so focused on him that I never sat back down to resume my lessons.. I never stepped foot back into class. I took him as the reason God told me to be still. I had studied so hard, stayed so focused... Surely this had to be my reward for such resilience? A good man. For a while I was happy. I didn't bother to turn to God to show me the purpose and His intentions... I played it by sight and by ear of what I thought was right.... I was selfish.