I Had To

CATEGORY

life

I had to stop doing what I was doing because I was doing what I always done I had to stop doing what I always done in order to gain a different outcome I had to stop pause hit the brakes make a u turn on the the way to my birthplace to force my way through doors that should've been open for me to come in, in the first place I had to stop wasting breath on those who only wanted to text I had to stop putting my heart into those who didn't have one for me I had to stop apologizing to those who will never forgive me l had to stop praying for those who sent me curses in return I had to stop showing up on the scene to see those who never seen me I had to stop hurting myself then blaming others for hurting me when I put myself in the position to be hurting I had to stop trying to bring about a change in someone else's life and neglecting to bring about a change in mine I had to stop I had to pause I had to hit the brakes I had to step back and look at it all I had to see myself through the fog I had to talk to myself I had to question my thoughts look deep inside question my heart and sincerely answer back I had to be here in the presence I had to put horded old tattered rags in the trash strike a match and burn em to ash I had to cutoff old feelings to grow new ones back I had to stop look be silent and listen to a change is gone come I had to stop and release the pressure poke holes in the lies to breathe the truth I had to stop to take time to grieve I had to face reality about things I refused to believe I had to come to the light face my shadow in a full contact combat cage match against my dark side for playing both sides it didn't happen overnight I dedicated decades of my life to get right I had to stop myself from commiting suicide and contemplating homicide I had to throw in the cape to save myself I had to stop doing what I couldn't stop figure it out find a solution a way out of my own chamber of madness I had to stop  to exccept the fact if there's no one to blame it's my fault for doing the same things and suffering the same results I had to stop