music, paper & pen

reasurrance

you come to me asking for help

i give you the textbook answer

you look to my hueless co-worker for the same i just give you

her answer holds more weight than mine

even though we have the same answer

i laugh
i have no benefit of giving you the wrong answer

she even is listening in on our conversations in the event that i give misinformation

if just by happen chance my training didn't reach protocol

y'all give me my props on how much i've retained

only to give me the back hand of

reassurance

its the beauty of being a black woman in a white world

you asked?

you can't understand the long colored braids

the big hoop earrings

the mascaca covered eyelashes

poppin a$$ lipgloss

eyeshadow to match

you had the nerve to ask me

who asked me are those extentions cause "who on earth would color their real hair like that"?

you said thank God it was extentions

i thank GOD for another reason

he gave me this flair and made me black

i don't care that you don't understand the aestheic

just give respect

as i flip my hair

while rollin my neck

using my hands when talkin

its not for you to understand

when i see someone who is similar to me

i nod my head

giving them the unspoken notion that i see them no matter how they see us

they dont want us here

they now we are here to stay

we're invited to spaces they...

where do ...???

where do broken hoes go?

whitney asked where do broken hearts go?

i just wonder where do broken hoes go?

the answer can't be the trash bin.

i see my heart in all its fu(ked up anatomy.

i see my anatomical heart,

all the values

pumping

slowly

love instead of blood flowing

where do broken hoes go?

it has to be somewhere other than broken people

fool

they say God watches over babies and fools

baby

ive been a fool for so long

bound-aries

if you don't set boundaries

people are bound to take the line they constantly cross

wrap it around your neck and hang you

mess

this is the only mess i've made & can't seem to clean up

there aren't enough apologies in the world 

Or tissue to contain the constant flow of tears 

silent cry #2

i cried today

no tears came

my chest heaved in my head

i could feel all the emotions

i was overwhelmed

what have i done to get to this point

what do i need to learn to move on

i'm looking for answers

i want something out of all of this

no title (whatever)

i can deal when you are like this

i prefer you didnt drink

and

since you insist

im ok with you being like this

quiet and glued to the tube

smiling frequently

i wonder what you are thinking

you so disturbingly peaceful

picking up your cup at 2 minute intervals

sometimes they're further apart

once you comfortable with your intoxication

(will be continued at a later time & maybe come up with a name)

good

i see the good in everyone

even if no one feels any is left

by doing this i get put in the position of being used

does that make me bad or should the person being decietful feel strange

do anyone feel anything these days

i cant tell

im always the one who is doing to much and crazy

why is this the case

silent cry

Have you ever had a silent cry

those are the worst kind

where you heave and never make a sound

emotions ejaculating all over the place

damn you jack

i thought we were cooler than that

you were prepared better

at least you're not throwing up all over the place

your head was in the skyy that day

the worst thing happen when you're that way

you need your feet on the ground

planted