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Sometimes the loneliness gets to me so much I sit in silence,
Even when friends wanna hang out with me or need some guidance,
Those days I become my own worst enemy,
I don't really wanna be in silence and lonely.
I'm not overly sure why it is that I do it,
Sometimes there is no reason for why I feel so ,
I guess a little feeling of waiting for something to happen,
Busy starving myself so that my stomach will flatten,
I've lost everything I was, it's like being brand new,
I don't even recognise myself as the person who,
Had women flocking round and friends in all directions,
Partying, working, enjoying new life sensations,
The life of the party, the soul of the tunes,
Naming stars after the girls of which I shared moons,
Travelling the country, mixing and networking,
Everyone knows of me and those that dont, want me,
I suppose I hate who I have become,
Although essentially 'they' say my life has begun,
I'm grounded, relaxed, settled and reliable,
Intelligent, humerous, wise, great partner material,
I know myself better than I ever thought I could,
Everday I make it my mission to do something good,
Ive apologised for my wrongs and mended the where-for's,
Made difficult decisions and won all my wars,
Yet still i'm not enough for somebody else,
It's a long time to collect dust on this shelf!
My casennova days were fun but over,
No, I have no respect for those a hundred years older,
I've been more genuine than your average Jo,
And still I spend all these days alone,
It sucks! I've ***ing lost who I am,
Who am I now? I just don't understand,
I know I chose this path and it's what I need,
But I hate this major rejection of me,
Friends can't be arsed, there's not many left,
Not since I gave up the drugs, raves, booze and sex,
Now alone I am left with scar tissue to hide,
The best friends you could ask for by my side,
Sometimes I think of having my old life back,
But i'm not really sure that I'm wanting that,
Just don't wanna be alone anymore, that's a fact,
Loneliness thriving in a world supposidly in tact.
