Lost Of A Child

CATEGORY

life

No one knows this emptiness I feel. No one hear my silent tears. A part of me has dead. The other part is finding it so hard to stay alive. How did I not know, there was a baby, a real baby growing in my womb? I want to crawl into a black hole. Confused as to why I was allowed to carry a child but wasn't allow to conceive. What is it about me, God finds unpleasing? The old Paris is dead, there is no more life in me. Rest in peace! I can no longer be strong for me. I can no longer be here for myself. This writing crap, is my way of CRYING FOR HELP! I'm discombobulated! My mind obliterated! The pain is the deadliest. Blaming myself, a part of me didn't want to have his kid. Not like this. A part of me, love his man, and a child, I would love to give. But I guess it was all a part of God's plan. I can't even watch a commercial with a baby in it, without getting sad. I want a do over, I want to be given a healthy child. I know it's to soon, don't want to rush things now. I just can't help but feel, that's the only way to get over losing a child. My strong woman demeanor... OVER AND DONE WITH. My heart is so fragile.. I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually worn out. I wanted to move on, I just don't know how. How do you ever get over losing a child?