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Locked myself behind closed doors ,this world and the way they judge ,I cant take it no more.
I lived in fear all to long ,but i have to get help because if i just take the knife out the wound ,everything will go all wrong.And Ill be dying to soon.
I can feel the pain they caused and they out living happily ,im on my knees praying to god asking ,how long will i bleed.
Because when it rain ,it really rain and when i hurt i can feel the pain.
Like being stabbed with a bunch of needles and the people are holding you down.
Trying to get you clean ,but they dont know that heartbreak cant be prevented with no meds or vaccine.
I beg and I plead , the only unaswered question is when will i let myself be free.
Trapped in my consicous ,im by a pool with a bunch of people that are scared and grown looks like ima be diving in this pool all alone.
I want to spiral around in the wrong way ,smoke weed ,pop pills ,
Im numb so i just needed alittle feel.
It wont take the pain away but maybe it could help me heal.
Better then what I been giving ,My heart is still beating but that dont always mean im still living.
Because I feel like the walking dead ,I rather be gone but Im here instead.
I hate when im depress and it dont make anything seem right anymore ,it just keeps showing the image of my heart scratched up and almost completly tore.
Its like people then up and left and forgot about me ,each did their part ,of ripping a chunk of my heart, i would of never guess of how this would show how life would be.
I had dreams but once i got a taste of that juice that the world was making, i thought fu*k it ,I dont got time to be waiting.
Because things are being due now ,in life you have to pay ,but i have nothing so i dont see how.
They must of mixed the rooms up ,because this is not the bed i made to lay in.
It was soft,warm and was on a high stand and i was happy even without the presence of a man.
I just need to figure my ish out ,need to learn to move forward and stop giving the future any doubts.
Im so young but yet feel so old ,I be so hot but yet inside i feel cold.
These words are turning into a poem ,I cant wait until god lets me come back home.
And maybe then I can truly sing the Pharrell Happy song.
