Relationships of the Past

It's like a winter storm Through the desert sand and as twisted as that sounds it's how I feel Torn and confused I don't know what's real Do I love you I don't think so Well maybe I do Some days I want you Others I can't stand the sight of you Sometimes I cringe at your touch Then I miss you so much Some days when we lay it feels like time flies And some days I just wish you wouldn't even try To be next to me Get your hands off me Today I feel your not my destiny And as crazy as it seemed I dreamed about you A man who would love me unconditionally But now that your here I feel so differently And most of the time it just makes me sad To have a man better than I ever had Yet I question the love that I have for you My heart don't skip a beat when I'm next to you I don't get chills when you touch me But I know that I am so very lucky Most women wish for man like you But I don't know if I love you Do I even know what true love is Thoughts of past relationships lingers in my mind Mentally and physically abused The harsh reality of what I thought was true A misrepresentation of what love is And now it seems like I can't recognize real love You cater to me Making me happy is all you wanna do Yet I sit here and wait Waiting on the bad Because this is like no love that I ever had I'm haunted by Relationships of the past