Escaping Love

When will freedom escape me? When will your touch repulse me? How can I forget the feelings you shoot thru my body as I try to numb the mixed feelings you send to my mind. Boiling shivers run from my head to my toes as we lock fingers and roll thru a turbulence of emotions that simply can't escape my soul. Who do I run to when I remember the dead end u always lead me to. Who will help me erase my memory of you when you decide enough is enough When will I remember enough is enough Minutes turned to years of unexplained fustration Hours turned to decades of ***ing so high under a dark, lackluster rainbow Is this my forever? Is it yours? Can I find happiness in you? Can someone love so much that they are truly blinded by what u think u don't want. Isn't love about what you need. *** everyone else around you. It's just u and me. But, then how can you make someone want u? Can we live in a place where skys aren't gray. Can we not grow up, pull our own reigns, and not be afraid. They say you have to lose someone to realize u love that someone. Whoever "they" is is all types of messed up and their definition of love is not what I aspire to feel. I imagine a different being. Feeling lifted even when I'm low, feeling calm even when I'm hyped, feeling stronger when I'm weak, feeling drugged when I'm sober. I expect us to feel that before "they" decide I leave. So, what do I do. ... how do I stay. How do I go. I can't do either one. I'm stuck. My heart just wants to burst out of me and bleed. When will freedom escape me...