12100
1
I don’t know if I am really ready for that type of responsibility.
Where do I begin to explain myself?
How do I mode someone into something great
Yet here I am…completely imperfect…and distorted.
Is there a right way to tell you not to be like me?
To follow your own path and to trust that God will lead you down the right path.
Explaining to you how to treat a woman, and to love her…respect her and not to mistreat her…is easier said than done.
When the world is already against you.
Yet…is it all written in the stars?
Has the story already been written, my fate and your fate…have our names already been written in stone?
I go to sleep dreaming of your cries.
An empty room suddenly is filled with toys, books, beds, pictures…memories that are nothing but just a dream.
Can it be a reality?
It is all coming and going…
I am looking around and I cannot see you.
Your presence is here…but I cannot feel you.
Your touch is fading, yet it is not gone.
Your cries are being heard but I cannot comfort you…
How do I explain to you why I left?
Why it has taken me so long to become the person that I will be at that point.
These lessons that I have but only learned now has become the lessons that I can only teach you.
With blind eyes and deaf ears you neither see nor hear what I am saying.
If I were a ripple of water would you even know that a wave was coming?
Would you sense the signs?
The draw back of the tide as I make my way towards you…engulfing you with everything that I have learned thus far and hope that once I get pulled back into the water you are left with everything that will make you into a better me.
In the dark I sit and wait…
A/C blowing into silence…
My mind constantly wondering, racing imagining something that I cannot explain yet I will know an answer once that time passes my way.
Or will it detour and go the other way?
I am not perfect but of course by then you will see that.
The person that you will be looking for with all of the answers will not be the person who will be caring for you.
You seek a book of knowledge yet here I am with just a few pages.
A superhero coming down to save the day, yet here I stand before you…
I am just a man.
I bleed, cry, and hurt…
I fight for your health…and your safety…and your rights.
While knowing that someone out there will one day try to take my place.
Someone out there is going to tell you that I am wrong.
That what I tell you is not right for you.
That what I have installed inside of you was nothing but a lie.
I dare you to be different...
To stand alone…apart from the rest.
To learn, and to grow and be something so much greater.
I was your start…you are your beginning…and where ever you shall end.
I will still be there, to meet you with open arms.
But this is just a dream.
This is not a reality.
Just a reflection of an alternate beginning that I have yet started.
But has already been written.
By the time I count to three…I will wake up.
To see that I am now walking in a new direction in life…
That…something new is coming my way…
That…beyond the stars someone is watching me and waiting for their chance at life.
That…one day…someday….
I am awake now….
