Are You Listenin?

CATEGORY

life

Where do I begin?

Sh*t I’m a sinner, I’m not here to wear it like I am proud of it.

It’s just the way that it is.

It ain’t something that I can wash off.

Nah, it ain’t nothin that can be done about it.

You see when I stepped into that cold a** water and had hands laid upon my head.

I had decided that this was going to be what I needed, so that I could see some better days.

Just a few.

I needed that from you…

Today I sat down with my thoughts and as I sat there, I asked myself how in the he** can a sinner baptize a sinner?

Who’s baptizing them?

What is baptizing me?

I’m waking up to questions and going to bed with even more.

Lookin around as the world around me crumbles.

I look to my left and see a man dancing to some song on a beat-up phone and headphones in the middle of the street.

I look to my right and see another person strung out on some sh*t that was probably made in a fu**in lab in an old run-down apartment that’s infested with rats and roaches.

I look behind me and take mental pictures of buildings that should have been closed, boards covering windows here and there. Broken class dashin the tags so unless you were lucky enough to see that window before it broke, you will never be able to say artist’s name.

And when I look ahead, the only thing I see are defeated souls.

This sh*t just doesn’t seem to ever end.

I could go to church but I don’t have a desire to pretend like I don’t notice the members of the church dressing in their Sunday’s best just so they can compete with others in the church.

I cannot see myself being prayed over by a “man of god” while knowing that he may be sleeping with multiple women in the church or telling his congregation that God is going to bless them as long as they continue funding him and his family’s lavish lifestyle.

I am tired of seeing black and brown boys and girls come up missing and only seeing it on social media.

I’m tired of hearing about another adult that is sleeping with either a little boy or a little girl.

I don’t think that I can deal with another life lost over something stupid.

Life wasn’t fair from the very beginning.

But it didn’t become obvious until my eyes finally opened.

So, if you are up there lookin down at us.

If you are really listening to every thought and every cry.

I need you to hear these words loud and clear.

I need you to know that I won’t ever get to the point where I am willing to give in.

I just need to know that there really is something better beyond that horizon that I am unable to see.

In other words, I just need to know if you are really listenin?