...in a mirage

CATEGORY

just different

seems lately,
you haven't held me close
...like you used to do
...and look me deeply in the eyes
as lovingly, 
as i want to look at you
arguments have become narrow
even our conversations
are brief and shallow
i am lost in a mirage,
as i look deeply into the mirror 
...another face looks back at me.
freedom of the soul...
as i have always come to know
...just isn't what it used to be
it only leaves me lonely
even when you're around
with a feeling of emptiness inside
it's just as if you put me down
as it seems just another chain reaction
a set of rebellions without a cause
to believe in ...for you and me
as time after time i feel like crying
believe it or not there's no one else
but, i don't ...feel like lying
lately you've been pushing me away
and i'm getting tired of trying
to look both ways
before dotting my eyes
and crossing my t's
when i say to you
...i love you
although,
even now,
as the image of you
which it has come to be...
an angry soul on fire
where once there was
a golden glow
wherever it went, 
it's lost now
your bouts of anger
now come in continuous streams
i no longer have you to hold on to
when i sense the need to comfort you
the reaction it feeds is discouraging me
and every byproduct of my best intentions
instantaneously is rejected by you
so what else can i do 
but run out from under the storm clouds
that are now always surrounding you, 
trying to catch some sunshine
somewhere, in between my dreams
of getting back where i used to love to be
where it seemed i was wanted 
for more than the sum of my component parts...
what i could potentially do for you
now its only a dream
you must have taken away prisoner
the one i thought of as
so truly beautiful...
making love was magical
even in my dreams
once between you and i
seems like only yesterday...
when i held you close
i could feel you melt between my arms
at night it seemed you would wait for me
and i treasured every moment
because deep down inside
...i could still feel you
and now, you...only feel the anger
by my presence
like somebody, 
whose 
been betrayed
which i 
honestly feel 
i did not do
...to you
and now 
that it's 
done
another 
angry tide 
of obscenities
has come and replaced
my lighthouse 
in stormy seas
and what 
you did for me
you say that
you no longer 
have any desire to do
all i have left is the smoke..
.that the wind is now blowing away
and the dream i had, that if you won,
everybody else 
would lose
...and 
i thought of myself 
as someone
who could
 turn 
your night
to day
in an 
exciting,
 new and boldly
against 
the grain
of what you
 were used to
it seems all to be
 turning out
 a different way
are we both trapped
 ...in a mirage...
is there a way... 
...can there
 be a way
to get back, 
where we
thought
we once belonged?
can we both be right... 
...or maybe both be wrong
get together and make it right
or has too much damage 
already been done
am i right back 
where i started 
when this all began
...with nowhere 
left to run...
in a mirage... 
...with you
C2

.
.
.