Pep talk

Trying to keep it together, Ive come to far to go backwards but too overwhelmed to move forward in hopes it's not a vicious cycle n situations don't recycle. While I sit idle, thinking of all the things I never thought I'd do or go through. Now look at u, Is what I tell myself. If I don't do it won't nobody else but after all the trying, crying, misplaced energy and emotional turmoil that seems to surround me uncomfortably comfortable. I don't have time to settle, foot to the metal and I'm on a pedestal. When I look down, baby girl n lil guy both look up to me in hope like mama don't give up. Many watch from the sidelines with popcorn like my life is their movie, entertaining cus of so many ups n downs and smiles turned to frowns and chins ups to head Downs. I will not drown in self pity but I got to be real with myself, take time to acknowledge the situation and come up with a solution to the mental pollution and distractions I encounter. Im not supposed to keep on like my life doesn't matter or my pain doesn't exist but im numb to it. Guess its time for the next chapter, I hope I'm ready for it.