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Alone with my thoughts of you
Of all that we will never be
I see happy couples
Smiling couples
And wonder if they are truly Happy
Or is that just a facade
With you I was happy In the beginning
But the Happiness slowly
Turned to misery followed by Despair
I wonder if I had known In the beginning
That you were not
Who and what you portrayed
Yourself to be
Would I have I imagine
I would have
You had a way that was so very charming Intoxicating
So very captivating
I wonder if thoughts of me
Of us
Ran through your mind In that moment
We completely lost it all It's seems like yesterday we
You and I were happy in fake love
Nothing I did was good enough
Nothing I ever said was right
But you swore you loved me
Forever you said
I don't weep anymore
There is nothing to weep for
Everything I ever wanted
Disappeared slowly like the sun setting and pouring darkness onto my life
Nothing I did was good enough
Nothing I ever said was right
But you swore you loved me
Forever you said
I miss you at times
I won't lie to myself I
do I think of all the times
You made me feel worthless I
think of all the nights
Waiting up for you
Only to fall asleep
And wake to find you still not there
I never thought you could be present in a relationship but not be present
But you showed me that it was possible
I fell for you hard
Now I sit here with scars
I thought I knew what love was
Until I got that first black eye
The push down the stairs
Along I felt like you really cared
The choke hold
The kicks
The bloody lips
I took every lick
Thinking that it was love
I sit alone with my thoughts now
I don't even remember the shots
I wish I could take it all back
But we are both alone now in the dark
©Robin. J 2017
