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Pushed out into a world of love
which had expectations so clear,
fought it like climbing down hill
confusion settled in and so near.
Told between the ages of 2 to 5
“Stop that”, “Get off from there”
I'd known my ears had heard it
now confused with fear everywhere.
Soon I would learn to settle down
as kindergarten slowed me also,
teacher and students picked a lot
shame then guilt wouldn't let go!
Racing ahead to the eighth grade
ashamed, with guilt, fear, & confused,
stop making bed, same with trash out
smiled a lot, inside hate I would use.
Graduation, summer over, high school
jumped into sports to gym to R.O.T.C.,
better at bed making amid trash out
wouldn't you know it here comes jealousy!
I made me a plan, some goals of mine
used hate to kick confusions behind,
“wait” sez shame, “allow me to try”
no problem shame, its no friend of mine?!
In no time at all my plan was working
so I pitched in hate with jealousy to try,
added final spices of guilt and ole' fear
matched and mixed I slipped a goodbye.
In the workforce for a time and now I'm 27
still working my plan being on my own, wow,
and listen up, I am soon to be a husband
butterflies!, she's beautiful! Oh not now!!".
--BlakMista-- 05/09/2022
