I Stumbled

CATEGORY

life

I stumbled across a part of myself
a part of me that long had  been forgoten
forgotten with the lazy days of no responsibility
It took a lot of effort to acknowledge this part of self
the requirements to fill in the blank spaces, to 
remember what to do, proceed cautiously,
try not to be afraid, you use to take chances
every now and then, but not lately
floating  by moment to moment, but the bills are paid,
digging thru the roots to see whats at the bottom,
seasoned fruit in the winter time
with no where to go, It may cost me
when someone reaches out for my help, only when they need something, 
HA, I want to bury this part in the winter time and say no more 
I am not available, its hard to say that, for this moment , I want
to not be with self, for I am all that is, everyday 24/7, me with me.
So I stumbled and gathered myself and sprang into action, moving cautiously, responding to the need of someone else. I tell myself that its okay, and remember to bury myself in the silence of me when I'm alone with my truth,  to not add to my imagings in the hopes of appreication for all I do,
That's it, I stumbled again, maybe next time I will ignore the call.