8700
To professionals who dominate my daily life, stop saying it's ok to drink,
I know you believe i'm not that bad and have the ability to think,
what you don't see is a viscous battle that consumes my mental energy,
my love for the juice daily grows it should be a UK felony,
to kill yourself in such a way you wallow in self-pitty,
same thought patterns go round and round until I reach for the whiskey,
I hate myself, I shouldn't be doing it who is ever gonna want me,
with a messy house, unkempt attire, lies and no ***ing money!
My job prospects liquidate with every drop of poison,
harm reduction goes out the window my path again is chosen.
despite my hands that reach to mouth are not forced externally,
a demon claims my every intent and drains my health internally.
How do I stop, where do I go? the services aren't so helpful,
when sitting around talking about drugs and booze incurs another mouthful.
They say you gotta do it for yourself not for someone else,
yet the only time I managed to stop was for my mrs and my health,
medication made me as sick as a dog so drinkin wasn't an option,
and Saffy needed the sober me to support her retract-adoption.
The triggers are few and far between but mostly it comes from girls,
I wouldn't give up despite several hours not breathing from my hurl,
they say if you get so bad your neck will explode from the liqour,
your lungs fill up with pints of blood you'll choke and merc your liver,
the pain excrutiating, the bed a mess, yet no relief is gained,
I still carry on, ignorance is bliss, passionately numbing my brain.
I want a career, a house, and family, all my childhood lacked,
I need my life, I want to be here, someone please help me take it back.
Copyright2013
