The waiting game

CATEGORY

life

In silence i waited for you as you packed your belongings and permanently moved out of my heart. Shattering an eternity of memories; you were everything that completed me. I waited as you quickly and sloppily folded up your previous "i love you's" into a balled up pile of crap on my bedroom floor....why are you in such a hurry to leave? I waited for you to finish, i am always waiting on you to finish.  I watched as you  Tuck away my tears like a wrinkled old shirt, and I forced myself to be strong, because tears are for the weak. And i was a fool to be so intoxicated with you and all of you, but still i waited. Waited for you to love me, waited for you to leave me, waited for you to hurt me, waited for you to forget me, all of that and i still waited, in silence as you obnoxiously threw my feelings into the garbage along with the miscellaneous s**t that you are now throwing away because since you won't be spending time here anymore, you don't need this stuff because you can't take this home with you, because then she will find out. How can I wait so f***ing long? I need to know if it's her smile? Can she light up a room the way that I can? Or maybe it's the depth of her mind? I'm not too sure but i know that i share the same qualities so how can you leave one and not the other?....and again i am waiting for your response. I am always waiting. But we are always ending, love has no boundaries or rules, but yet you continuously set them for me. So i sit here crushed, waiting for the afternoon to come because waking up in the mornings are so painful and the evenings are lonley and unbearable. I waited as you left me...here in darkness, to deal with my own emotions and try and make sense of what happened....what did i do to you? What did i say to make you want to leave? I can promise you that if you stay just a little bit longer, I can make you change your mind, because i would rather have a small peice of you than nothing at all. But you want to leave, and you are packing up that suitcase full of emotions like there will be no tomorrow, kissing me goodbye from a distance, I don't want to let you go, but I am failing at ways to make you stay....so what can I do besides wait? I should stab you, cut at you like a dog for making me wait long enough for you to get your fill and break my heart....who the f**k do you think that you are? Burning the evidence that you and i have ever existed together. I should do it, you know.... I should drive this cold steel right in the heart and blindside you, the same way that you did me. But i wait, i am always waiting when it comes to you, and i think of what will happen to this child that i am carrying, and i realize that no matter how much you say that you are done with me, i will always have a peice of you. I will always be around....and then, you will never forget me.