Psychotic

Insecurities all day, how do you deal with it? Back and fourth in my mind, my personality is split. Don't let me go on WebMD, giving them my symptoms n ... next thing you know I'm terminally I'll, seeking prayers... THATS IT! I've had enough, I'm done. Idk where this is coming from, I'm cutting everyone off like I have a black thumb. Everything I touch just withers and dies, can't even touch myself, I'm corroding my own mind. All the worrying and what it's, please make it stop. It's like my mind is steady going, like an energized clock.  Am I mentally ill? Am I going insane? I never grieve, just put off the pain. My mind is trying to protect me, creating alternate views, like someone working I a scent shop using coffee beans to yield perfumes. I make up stories all day, writing down all my thoughts, letting the pen illustrate all my faults. A broken vessel I am, just so vulnerable.... Lord please fill me up, let the cup overflow.