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life

When confusion takes its toll on me I begin to isolate myself from the cold,
Because eventually there is nothing left for me to hold.
So I'm stuck trying to understand everyone but yet I can't even understand myself.
Putting my life in danger along with my health.
Constantly fighting this battle that I always seem to loose,
When deep down inside I'm wishing I didn't have to choose.
I'm lost in my emotions and twisted in my thoughts,
To the point where I find myself at a battle I've already fought,
Questioning myself on how for me happiness doesn't really exist
And how it's my fault for wanting to take the risk.
Yes physically I walk around with a smile,
But trust me it only lasts for a while
Because when I get home and I close the door
I find myself stuck in solitude crying on the floor.
Wishing that people could understand me,
But all I can relate to is my own poetry...