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I once knew a girl
called Mary
not the one with the lamb
but that contrary broad
She had this thing
for a dude called Jack
not Jill’s man
and definitely not
that daffy dude
who sold his cow
for a handful of beans
she had spasms
for that nimble fella
the pyromaniac who liked
playing with fire
t h i s s o c i o p a t h
was doing this other freak
called Snow
little did he know
she was just a little ho
from around da way
doing seven other dudes
s h e w a s a f r e a k . . !
she was friends
with this other chick
Cindy . .
who was having
a real hard time at home
Cindy was a good girl
but her b i t c h a s s father
gone hook up
with this golddigger floosie
after his wife ran off with some
uptown dyke
let me paint this fuh y'all . .
Ah heard someone saying
that Cindy's dad died of an overdose
but everybody in da hood
know what really happen
'c a u s e . .
The only thing that golddigger
brought to the hook up
was two skank daughters
and an open mouth
and amongst them
they made Cindy’s life
a living hell
They lived up the block from
this old pro on welfare
who lived in a shoe
and had a whole slew
of badass kids
all were destined
to become gangbangers
and each one o' dem
ADHD future psychopaths
had a different daddy
not that y'all need to know that
but ah just saying . .
Oh . . before I continue
did I tell y'all that Mary
the contrary chick
grew mushrooms and weed . ?
y e a h b a b y . .
the chick was dealing on the side
she called herself a gardener
I guess ya can call yourself
anything these days
b a c k t o M a r y . .
which one . . ?
The one who loves farm animals . .
Yeah that one . !
the one with the pet lamb
well as it turns out
that lamb really belonged
to her man
he knew one day
it was gonna be a sheep
ya get muh driff . . ?
Her man was this little perv
also called Jack
seems as though
there were a lot of Jacks
living in this neighbourhood
This little perv
would sit in a corner
and play with his thingy
and extol its virtues
and how he was a good dude
H o w e v e r . .
one day some serious mess
jumped off in the neighbourhood
involving Jack and Mary
which ones . ?
All of Dem . . !
These are some seriously
disturbed people
anyway
let me continue the story
SUMMER BLOCK PARTY . !
and everyone’s there
Snow’s stepmom showed up
she calls herself "Queen"
guess who she came with ?
Y'all wouldn’t guess
in a million years . !
The evil witch
showed up with her posse
Cindy’s two stepsisters and stepmother
a psycho chick called "Reds"
who used to be cool
until one day
she went to visit nana
and caught nana in
s o m e f r e a k y d i c k y s h i t
some dude called "Wolffe"
was eating nana
the traumatic experience
messed Reds up real good
she's never been the same since
but da main b i t c h
was this old battle axe
who used to sell apples
downtown back in da day
until she got busted
for trying to poison
a couple people
did some time
now she’s out
riding shotgun fuh Queen
aint that sumtin . ! ?
Well boys and girls . .
Queen and her posse
rolled up in the block party
and started making trouble
f i r s t . .
they tried to rob Mary
outta some loot
they knew contrary Mary
was dealing
so they tried to rob da woman
but contrary Mary
got a tipoff from Jill
remember Jill . . . Jack’s woman . ?
anyhow contrary Mary
was waiting on dem fools
and shot one of
Cindy’s stepsisters
square in the ass
there was gunshots
all over the block party
people was diving for cover
they even shot up da koolaid
and da chicken wings
Old Reverend Pastor
just stood there praying fuh peace
as though he was bulletproof
until a bullet bounced off a rim
and passed through the bible
he was preaching from
never seen someone
who believe in god
scramble so fast
Reverend Pastor
dive under da DJ table
he was praying so hard
one could swear he was Muslim
of course
when the PoPo came
late as usual
n o b o d y s a w n o t h i n g
w e l l . .
Queen and her girls
left the party soon after that
'cause word is . .
contrary Mary and her crew
looking fuh they ass
while all that was going on
Jack rolled up unannounced
looking fuh his woman
and found Jill
twerkin on some dude
Jack almost blow a fuse
c a u s e . .
Jill was a fine looking
filly from Philly
with a ghetto booty
that didn’t quit
and every old G
and young buck
was trying to hit it
Jack stepped to Dude
and a big knife fight
broke out
it was like
a old pirate movie
they end up
stabbing each other
over Jill
and she just stood there
and watch as the ambulance
took her man and dude away
and as soon as the ambulance
was outta sight
Jill was seen
messing with another dude
named Peter
whose daddy
had a pumpkin farm upstate
ain’t this Jill
a piece o’ work . . ?
Well folks . . .
Nimbles was also up in da joint
remember Nimbles . .
Ya’ll doh remember Nimbles . . ?
the guy contrary Mary
had da shivers for . ! ?
turns out
Nimble boy had a cousin
twice removed
on his mother’s side
also named Jack
from the downtown Sprats
dem Sprats is dangerous folks
the entire family gangsta . !
and who ain't did time
doing time
well y'all . . !
that Sprat dude was cheating
on his fat wife
back in the day
she was sexy cute
she was too fine . !
but a bad diet
unemployment
bad credit
stress
and a love affair
with pork fried rice
let's just say
S h e B l e w U p . . !
turns out Sprat
tried to kill da woman
when she got laid off
d u d e . .
didn’t even have a job
and was pimping his wife
to top it off
he was shagging
every ole ho in da hood
ya would think a divorce
woudda been a better option
than trying to kill
that poor woman
a n y w a y . .
Sprat now doing time
in Sing Sing
n o p a r o l e
it just goes to show
you can’t trust anybody
Nimble boy say
they ain’t related . !
but that too
is another story
for another time
© mingoáo
