VOICE

CATEGORY

I will make noise because I am here & I have discovered my worth. There is only so much that a person can take before they say.. ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! I have had enough and I WILL MAKE NOISE BECAUSE I. AM. HERE! And I have discovered me and my own worth. I will dance, I will SCREAM! I WILL SHOUT from the roof tops because I AM HERE! And I will make noise. I was afraid because I had lost myself. I was so deep into you that my being began to dissolve and I smothered my own voice, and I drowned my own dreams with you. I took pieces of everything that I was and morphed them into you, muffling my own voice, and I could not scream, and I could not shout….and I could not fight. I could only be broken into silence, and you; you loved me because I was weak. But when I remembered my voice, when I remembered my worth, then I realized how much noise that I can make. Feelings should not be stomped on, trampled on, or swept under the rug. They should be carefully handled, remembered, and cherished. Do you cherish me? If I don’t remember who I am, than how can I love you? How can you love me? If you tear me down to my bare bones then how can you use the same mouth to speak words of love? At one point I loved you, I cherished you, I needed you. But you hurt me, NO you crushed me. You didn’t hear my muffled screams. You took your size 13 nikes and stomped all over my heart turning only to spit on the remains, and when you did, at that very moment, at this very moment, I remembered me. I remember how beautiful I am, I remember that I have a voice and I remember that I can make noise. I remember my dreams, and my passions. I remember me and I refuse to be broken, I refuse to be a victim. So excuse me if I seem cold, but I only have enough room in my heart for one right now, and I choose me. You tell me that I cannot handle you because you are strong, and I know that I cannot handle you because you are weak. You are a child, and I am your enabler, coddling and re-assuring you that your behavior is okay. Not with my words, but with my actions I say abuse me, hurt me, ignore me. Of course I know it is not just your fault. I also did this to me. I killed myself and allowed my body to be invaded , my voice to be muffled and my screams to be silenced. Suffering alone and in silence for 6 years. Mentally and emotionally decapitated. But not anymore, because I am HERE and I have discovered my own worth. I will remember and learn to love myself, and I will scream and I will shout and I will create all of the commotion that I want because I AM HERE!