Rambling Depression

My hope has decreased,
My want to change the world is decreased.
I keep making mistakes,
There are no returns, or retakes.
I can’t handle all I do wrong,
Sometimes I think
If myself
the accident
didn’t grow and live,
There would be nothing wrong.
You know what is the hardest?
Waking up in the morning and going to work,
When I see happy people,
I think why.
Why are they happy?
I think I deserve to be happy,
But around every corner of right there is a wrong.
That one wrong pulls me into the dark shadow of my mind.