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romance

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Until I met you I didn't realize that my heart is a war zone, broken, scarred and bruised surrendering a flag of defeat from a fallen soldier who knew love but was damaged and left a casualty of cruel battles that left me for dead and I barely survived. Until I met you I didn't realize that I am caged in my own fear and terrified of falling, drowning in doubt so deep that I am only able to come up for just enough air to doubt you and burden myself with all of the reasons why you are not who you say that you are, and convince myself that you will hurt me, and guard myself from any chance at real love. I feel safe with you, and I want you to unlock every secret that I have ever kept from the world and even myself, but I am also afraid of you, and everything that could go wrong. I am afraid of the arguments and pain, and my heart is worried with so much fear that at any moment it could explode. Until I met you I didn't realize how much of a threat that you are to the chained webs surrounding my heart and I want so badly for you to rip them apart and pour yourself into me, dive into my soul and Love me, love me until I am dizzy, until I cannot see straight, until every ounce of pain that I have ever felt is lost in the love that you give. Until the wall of anxiety that I have built into my brain has evaporated into thin air. I don't want to be afraid of love, but I am because love is like heroin you can be addicted to it, addicted to the wrong person, someone who leaves your heart a tattered war zone, heavy and tired from pain, and strained with exhaustion. From you I feel that I could learn love, learn to speak it and be fluent in its language because you seem to speak love so well, if only I weren't so afraid. I want you to teach me this language, but I am so afraid, I am so terrified of you and all of the potential damage that you could do.